Dreams

This pregnancy has given me a lot of dreams about the toilet. On more than one occasion I have woken up grateful that in that dream I hadn't actually found a toilet!

When I was pregnant with Isaac, and I was in my first trimester because I was still working at the time, I had a dream that Isaac was going to be born June 27th, even though his due date was July 3rd. When I told my coworkers, they asked why that date? I said I didn't know. Months later I was admitted to the hospital on June 26th and induced, and Isaac was born at 6:33am on June 27th. In hindsight, looking at all that I went through and the trauma that happened, I can see that that dream was Heavenly Father's way to prepare me for what was to come. It wasn't the first or the last time I'd dreamed about an event yet to take place, and it took me a while to appreciate that gift.

Months ago I had a dream that Brooke would be born 10 days early. As much as I can remember, I had the dream twice. She is due June 8th, and my c-section date is June 2nd. I felt that the dream I had meant 10 days before her actual due date, which would be about May 29th. I don't know if Brooke will actually come early, but it makes me wonder. I haven't had nearly as many complications with this pregnancy as I did with Isaac, so I'm not really worried there. Maybe it's just a heads-up? Maybe it was just anxiety, and she won't actually be born until my c-section date?

I have been having a lot of anxiety, and lots of flashbacks of what I went through with Isaac and it keeps me up in the middle of the night. I have to consciously pull myself out of it and make myself physically relax just to get back to sleep. Since I've been using this blog as a journal, I've considered putting down my experience here just to get it out and off my mind. Writing things down is supposed to be good therapy. We'll see.